The Staff Room Gods
The Fisherman Who Slowed the Sun
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A cheeky fisherman fishing in the playground, a fire goddess in the boiler room and a sun that races too fast. Clever is good, but kind is better.
Part One. Fishing in the Playground
The first time we saw Mister Maui was on a Monday, and he was fishing in the playground.
Not in the pond. In the playground. On the tarmac, right next to the hopscotch.
He was sitting on an upside-down bucket with a long fishing rod, and his line went straight down a drain. He was humming, as if this was the most normal thing in the world.
"Excuse me," said Kenji, who is always the first to ask. "There aren't any fish in a drain."
"That's exactly what the fish want you to think," said the man.
He had a huge grin, dark curly hair tied up on top of his head, and swirly patterns all the way up both arms, like waves on a map. His badge said Mister Maui, Fishing Club and Lost Property.
Then his line went tight. Mister Maui stood up, gave one sharp tug, and out of the drain came a wet green mitten.
"Ah!" he said. "Is anyone missing a mitten?"
"That's mine!" shouted Dot from Reception, running over. Dot is the smallest person in the whole school, but she has the loudest voice. "I lost it in September!"
He cast the line again. Out came a lunchbox. Then a single sock. Then a recorder. Then Mister Harris's reading glasses, which Mister Harris had been looking for since half term.
"How does he do that?" said Ollie.
"Magic," whispered Dot.
That's when Mister Maui looked at all of us and winked. And the strangest thing happened. The sun, which had been hiding behind a cloud all morning, popped out.
Part Two. Three Pieces of Evidence
Maya Singh has a notebook for exactly this sort of thing. She opened it at break time and read out her list.
"Evidence number one," she said. "Nobody fishes in a drain. Not even a grown-up fisherman. So his fishing is not normal fishing."
"Evidence number two," said Alex. He had been very quiet, which is what Alex does when he's noticing things. "Look at his hook."
We all looked. At the end of Mister Maui's line, hanging in the air while he tidied the lost property, was the most beautiful hook we had ever seen. It was curved like a crescent moon, and it glowed softly, like the inside of a seashell.
"That's not a fishing shop hook," said Alex. "Nobody could buy that."
"Evidence number three," said Felix. "The sun."
"What about it?" said Ollie.
"It comes out when he laughs," said Felix. "I counted. He laughed four times this morning, and the sun came out four times. When he stopped laughing, it went in."
Maya wrote that down very fast. Then she said the thing she always says when she is about to be right. "I have a theory."
"Is it a good one?" said Kenji.
"It's the best one," said Maya. "And it's scary and brilliant at the same time. Mister Maui is Maui."
"Yes," said Ollie. "That's what his badge says."
"No," said Maya. "I mean Maui. The Maui. A demigod from the islands of the Pacific Ocean. And I think he's here to fish something up."
Part Three. The Smallest Brother
Maya told us the whole story, sitting on the bench with her notebook shut.
"Maui was the youngest of all his brothers," she said. "And the smallest. Whenever the big brothers went out fishing in their canoe, they said, You can't come, Maui. You're too little. And Maui always said, Watch me."
"That's rude," said Dot.
"It's a bit rude," said Maya. "But he was left out, so I think it was allowed."
"One day, Maui had a plan. He had a magic hook, and he wanted to catch something bigger than anyone had ever caught. So he hid under the boards of the canoe, very quietly, and he waited. When the canoe was far out at sea, he popped out and said, Surprise!"
"The brothers were not pleased," said Maya. "But it was too late to turn back."
"Did he catch a fish?" said Ollie.
"He had a problem," said Maya. "He'd forgotten to bring bait. So he used a little bit of his own blood from a nosebleed."
"Ew," said Ollie.
"It's a very old story," said Maya. "Anyway, he dropped his line deep, deep, deep into the sea, and something grabbed it. Something enormous. The canoe began to shake. The sea began to boil. And Maui, who was the smallest of all the brothers, held on and pulled."
"Did he do it?" said Felix, leaning forward.
"He did it," said Maya. "But he couldn't do it alone."
Part Four. The Fish That Became Islands
"Maui shouted to his brothers, Paddle! Paddle as hard as you can! And whatever you do, do not look back."
"Why not?" said Kenji.
"Because the thing on the hook was huge, and it was rising up out of the water, and it was very, very heavy. It needed everybody pulling the same way, all at once, with no one stopping to look."
"The brothers paddled and paddled. The canoe shook. The water roared. And then one of the brothers got curious. He turned around."
"Oh no," said Dot.
"And the whole enormous thing cracked into pieces," said Maya. "And every piece became an island. That's how the islands of the Pacific Ocean got made. Maui fished them up, one after another, out of the deep blue sea."
We sat there for a bit with our mouths open.
"So the lesson," said Alex slowly, "is that big things are easier when everybody listens and works together."
"And the smallest person can start the biggest thing," said Felix.
"I wrote that down," said Maya. "Both of those."
Then Dot said what we were all thinking. "What is he doing in our school?"
Part Five. The Sun Is Sulking
By Tuesday, we started to see what the problem might be.
The clocks had gone back on Sunday. Everyone knows what that means. When we came out of school, it was nearly dark already, and it was only home time.
"It's gone dark at four o'clock!" said Ollie. "That's not fair."
"The sun's sulking," said Mister Maui, who was walking past with his fishing rod over his shoulder. "It does that every autumn. It's been grumpy with me for a very long time."
"Why is it grumpy with you?" said Felix.
"Oh," said Mister Maui. He scratched the back of his head and grinned a very guilty grin. "I may have tied it up once."
And he walked off, whistling.
Mister Harris came out to the playground at the same moment, rubbing his hands together because it was already chilly. "Now, everybody," he said. "A reminder. This Friday is our Lantern Walk. All the grandparents are coming, and we'll walk around the school field at sunset with our lanterns. It will be lovely. Bring a warm coat."
"My nana's coming," said Alex.
"My nana's coming," said Felix.
"Yes," said Mister Harris. "Same nana, I think."
"Yes," said both twins, at exactly the same time.
Part Six. Tying Up the Sun
We caught up with Maya on Wednesday. She had been busy.
"I found out why the sun's grumpy," she said. "It's in the story. There's another bit of Maui's story, and it's about the sun."
"Long ago," she said, "the days were much too short. The sun raced across the sky as fast as it could, so there was hardly any daytime at all. Maui's mother, Hina, was a clever person who made cloth. But she could never get it dry, because the sun went down before it was ready."
"That's annoying," said Kenji.
"So Maui decided to do something about it," said Maya. "He climbed a great big mountain called Haleakala, which means House of the Sun. He made a rope as strong as he could. And he waited in the dark at the top for the sun to come up."
"Weren't there rays everywhere?" said Ollie. "Wouldn't it be too hot?"
"Super hot," said Maya. "But Maui didn't care. When the sun came over the edge of the mountain, he threw his rope and caught it by its long, golden legs. Then he said, You're going to go slower."
"Was the sun angry?" said Dot.
"Very," said Maya. "But Maui held on. And in the end the sun agreed to a deal. It would travel slowly for half of the year. That's summer. And in the other half, it would hurry. That's winter."
"So that's why summer days are long," said Felix.
"And why it's dark at four o'clock now," said Alex.
"And why the sun doesn't like him," said Maya. "He didn't ask. He tied it up. And that's a mistake some people never fix."
Part Seven. The Friday Storm
Friday came. It had been raining all week, and by lunchtime it was pouring so hard that the windows rattled. Wind howled round the school. The trees in the field bent over like they were bowing.
At twenty past three, there was a very loud bang.
Then every single light in the school went out.
"Power cut!" yelled Ollie.
"Everyone stay calm," said Mister Harris, in a very calm voice that did not sound calm at all. "We will be completely fine."
But we were not completely fine. The classroom was cold. The heating had gone off. The boiler in the basement, the big one that keeps the whole school warm, made a long sad noise and stopped.
Outside, the sky was already as dark as night. The grandparents were arriving in the car park with umbrellas, and they were all holding lanterns that had no light inside them.
"We can't have a Lantern Walk without any lights," said Kenji.
"Is there a torch?" said Mister Harris. "Candles? Matches?"
Missus Tibbs held up a box of matches. They were soaking wet. She had dropped them in a puddle.
That's when Mister Maui appeared in the doorway, dripping, with his glowing hook in his hand.
Part Eight. I Need Fire
"I can fix this," said Mister Maui. "But I can't do it on my own."
"What do you need?" said Mister Harris.
"Fire," said Mister Maui. "Proper fire. The kind that doesn't go out in the rain." He took a deep breath. "And that means I have to ask my grandmother."
He did not look happy about it.
We followed him down the corridor, even though Mister Harris had told us to stay put. Maya walked beside him with her notebook, whispering her theory as we went.
"His grandmother is Mahuika," she said. "She's the goddess of fire. She keeps it in her fingernails. Every single finger has a flame inside the nail."
"Cool," said Dot.
"Not cool," said Maya. "Hot. And here's the thing. Maui got fire from her once, a long time ago, but he did it with a trick. He asked for one fingernail, and she gave it. Then he said, Please, may I have another? And he put the first flame out in the water, and she gave him another. He did that again and again, until she had only one fingernail left."
"That's not nice," said Felix.
"No," said Maya. "When Mahuika found out, she was furious. She threw her last flame at him. The whole world caught fire. Maui turned into a bird and flew away, and then he called for rain to put it all out."
"But the rain didn't put out every flame," said Alex. "Did it?"
"How did you know?" said Maya.
"Because when you rub two sticks together, you get fire," said Alex. "Mister Harris told us. The fire is inside the wood."
"Exactly," said Maya. "Mahuika hid her last sparks in the trees. And Maui hasn't spoken to her since."
Part Nine. The Door Marked Seriously
At the very end of the corridor was a heavy metal door. Nobody had ever noticed it before.
It said, DANGER. KEEP OUT. And underneath, in smaller letters, someone had added: Seriously.
"Stay here," said Mister Maui. "I mean it. It's not safe."
"But we want to help," said Alex.
"We can help," said Felix.
Mister Maui looked at them. He had a very serious face, and for the first time it did not have a grin on it. "Brave doesn't mean going where you're told not to," he said. "But it does mean being honest when it's hard. Stay behind me. And do exactly what I say."
We stayed behind him. All of us. Then Mister Maui turned round and found Dot at the very back, standing on tiptoes, trying to look as if she had been there all along. He opened his mouth. Then he shut it again.
"Fine," he said. "Behind me. All of you."
The door creaked open. A wave of warm air rolled out, smelling of woodsmoke and hot bread.
We walked down some stairs. They went down and down, deeper than any school stairs ought to go. At the bottom there was a huge cave, glowing orange. And in the middle of the cave, sitting beside the biggest, oldest boiler we had ever seen, was a woman.
Part Ten. Mahuika
She was very tall, even sitting down. Her hair was a mass of flickering flames, red and gold and orange. She wore an apron over a long dress. Her badge said Missus Mahuika, Boiler Room.
On the ends of her ten fingers, ten tiny flames danced.
"You," said Mahuika.
Her voice was like a log cracking in a fireplace.
"Hello, Grandmother," said Mister Maui.
"Do not call me Grandmother," said Mahuika. A spark flew out of her finger. It hit the wall and left a black mark. "You came to my cave a long time ago, and you lied to me."
"I know," said Mister Maui.
"You tricked me out of my fire."
"I know."
"You made me throw it. And I burned the world."
"That was my fault," said Mister Maui. "Not yours."
For a long moment nobody moved. The boiler hummed. The flames on her fingers flared bigger. We all stood very, very still. Dot squeezed Felix's hand, and Felix squeezed back.
Then Mahuika pointed one burning finger straight at us. "And who are all these children?"
Part Eleven. Sorry
"They're my friends," said Mister Maui. "I'm in their school. And tonight the whole place is dark and cold, with no fire and no lanterns. I have come to ask for your help."
"Ask?" said Mahuika. She folded her arms. "You have never asked for anything in your life. You take."
"Not any more," said Mister Maui. His voice sounded smaller than we had ever heard it. "I'm sorry, Grandmother. I was clever, but I wasn't kind, and I've been sorry for a very long time. I just didn't know how to say it."
Mahuika sniffed. A puff of smoke came out of her nose. "Easy words. You were always good with those."
Nobody said anything. Mister Maui looked down at his feet.
That's when Felix stepped forward. Right out in front of everyone, into the glow.
"Excuse me," said Felix. He took a deep breath. "My nana says that sorry is the hardest word, because you have to be brave to say it. I think he really meant it. He came all the way down here, and he was scared, and he did it anyway. That's what brave is."
Mahuika watched him for a very long time. The flames on her fingers shrank, just a bit.
"And he's still your grandson," said Felix, quietly. "Even when he makes mistakes."
Part Twelve. The Test
Mahuika was silent for such a long time that the flames in the boiler crackled.
"Fire that is taken is a thief's fire," she said at last. "Fire that is given is a gift. I will give you one flame. But it is a hungry flame. If it burns anything on the way, or if it goes out, then the gift is over and I will not offer it twice."
She wriggled the smallest finger on her left hand. A tiny flame, the colour of a sunrise, floated off the end of it, and hung in the air in front of her.
"Carry it up to the school," she said. "Carry it all the way. And do not let it die."
"How?" whispered Ollie. "It'll burn our hands!"
"And if we run, the wind will blow it out," said Kenji.
Everyone looked at Mister Maui. He opened his mouth, closed it again, and for once in his life he had no clever plan.
That's when Alex said, very calmly, "Fire needs air to stay alive. But it can't have too much wind."
"So?" said Maya.
"So we need something with a lid that has little holes in it," said Alex. "Something that's see-through, so we can keep an eye on it. Something that can't burn."
Then Felix spotted the pile of lost property in the corner, which Mister Maui had brought down in a bucket. And at the top of the pile, sitting where it had always been, was a big glass jam jar with a metal lid. Someone had poked a few holes in the lid with a fork.
"That's perfect," said Mister Maui.
"It's Alex's idea," said Felix proudly.
Part Thirteen. The Long Dark Corridor
Alex and Felix carried the jar between them, one on each side, holding it with both hands. Inside, the little sunrise flame swayed.
The stairs were steep. The corridor was long. And the storm was getting worse.
When we reached the top of the stairs, a gust of wind came screaming down the hall from somewhere above, rattling every door. The flame inside the jar shrank to a tiny blue dot.
"It's going out!" yelled Ollie.
"Don't let it!" yelled Kenji.
"Make a wall!" said Maya. "All together!"
So we did. We made a circle around the twins, shoulder to shoulder, with our coats held out wide to block the wind. Dot, who was the smallest, crouched in front and cupped her little hands around the bottom of the jar.
"I'm tiny," she said, in her loud little voice, "but I'm very good at being a wall."
"You're the best wall," said Felix.
"Keep walking," said Alex.
We shuffled forward, step by step, all of us together, like an enormous centipede in coats. Kenji counted every step, out loud. Ollie hummed so we would all keep time. Behind us, Mister Maui held up his glowing hook so we could see the floor.
Willow was in front of us. Nobody had seen her come along. She never tells anyone when she is coming. She walked ahead into the dark with her tail straight up like a flag, and her eyes shone green every time the lightning flashed. Where she went, we went. Even when the corridor creaked, she did not slow down.
At step eighty-seven, the little flame stretched up tall and bright again.
"It's fine," said Felix, softly, to the jar. "You can do it. We've got you."
Part Fourteen. The Lantern Walk
We burst out of the double doors onto the school field at exactly the moment the sky began to turn red and gold.
The storm had stopped. The clouds had rolled back. And all across the wet grass stood the grandparents, in their raincoats, holding their dark lanterns. Mister Harris was standing at the front with his torch not working, looking like a man who had run out of plans.
"We have a flame," said Alex.
"A real one," said Felix.
Together, they opened the lid, very carefully. Mister Maui held out a long, thin taper, and the little sunrise flame hopped onto it as if it had been waiting all day.
He lit the first lantern. It was Nana's.
Alex and Felix's nana looked at the two of them, with the flame glowing in her face, and her eyes went all shiny. "Well," she said. "Look at you both."
Then she lit the next lantern. And that person lit the next. And the next. The light travelled all the way down the line, from lantern to lantern, until hundreds of tiny golden flames were glowing across the dark wet field, and nobody was cold any more.
Far away in the basement, we heard the old boiler groan and rumble back to life.
Part Fifteen. Five More Minutes
But there was one thing left.
The sun was almost down. The red light was sliding off the roofs and going out, just as it did every day, much too early.
"It'll be dark before we reach the end of the field," said Ollie.
Mister Maui looked at the sunset for a long time. Then he took a step forward, and held up his glowing hook.
"I'm not going to tie you up," he said, to the sky. "I did that once, and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry. But the lanterns are all lit, and everybody's walking, and it's the most special evening of the year for these children and their grandparents. So I'd like to ask you something, please."
He took a breath.
"Could you wait? Just five more minutes?"
For a moment, nothing happened. Then we saw it. The last red edge of the sun, low on the horizon, hovered. It seemed to think. And very slowly, as if it was settling into a comfy chair, it stayed.
"It said yes!" shouted Dot.
"It said yes because you asked nicely," said Maya.
And so we walked the whole way around the field with our lanterns, in the long gold light, with Nana beside us and Mister Harris wiping his eyes. It was the best Lantern Walk in the history of the school.
Part Sixteen. What Mister Maui Said
Afterwards, in the warm hall, with hot chocolate, Mister Maui sat down with us.
"I need to tell you something," he said. "Something Mahuika taught me. And something you taught me, too."
He looked at the twins. "When I was little, everybody told me I was too small and I should wait. I spent a very long time proving I wasn't. I thought being clever meant winning, and getting what I wanted. But that's not it."
"What is it?" said Ollie.
"Clever is good," said Mister Maui. "Brave is good. But the best thing is being kind while you're at it. And asking for help isn't weak. It's the strongest thing I did all week."
"And you're never too small to start something big," said Dot.
"Yes," said Mister Maui, and he grinned his biggest grin. "That's exactly right, Dot."
At the hall window, behind the curtain, a pair of glowing orange eyes winked at him. Mahuika had come up the stairs, just a little bit, to watch. Mister Maui waved. She waved one flaming finger back.
Part Seventeen. The Ending, with a Hook
When it was finally time to go home, Missus Tibbs started switching off the lights. The power had come back on. The school was warm and quiet and smelled of woodsmoke and hot chocolate.
Dot was the last one out of the hall. She stopped at the door and looked up.
"There's a spider on the ceiling," she said.
We all looked up.
It was the biggest spider any of us had ever seen. It was as big as a dinner plate, with eight long legs, and it was wearing a tiny hat. It was sitting in the middle of a brand-new web that was stretched right across the hall ceiling, and the web had writing in it. The silky letters spelled out three words.
WHO OWNS STORIES?
"That's not a normal spider," said Kenji.
"That's not a normal web," said Ollie.
Maya was already writing in her notebook, so fast that her pencil squeaked. "I have a theory," she said. "And I think it's going to be very, very tricky."
Mister Maui, packing up his fishing rod at the other end of the hall, looked up at the spider. He started to laugh. "Oh no," he said. "Not him. Anyone but him."
The spider tipped its tiny hat.
We all turned and looked at Alex and Felix. They looked at each other. They said, at exactly the same time, "Monday."
The End.